Here's what went down...

Lincoln was due to arrive Friday, November 26. I (Corey...aka Dad) was scheduled to go to New Orleans for the week. And then head to Charlotte for the NASCAR race. And then see Morrissey in concert. I didn't get to any of those events....and Linc didn't show up on time either. He was placed on restriction before he was even born.

Almost two weeks later, Erika (the mom) and I checked into the Georgetown University Hospital. We live a mile away from a brand new, state-of-the-art hospital with plentiful parking and low crime stats, but went with the grungier choice on the crowded outskirts of DC so that we could always tell people our son went to Georgetown University.

We were in the hospital by 7:30 pm on Monday. The doctors attached every wire, cord and jumper cable they could find to Erika and started pumping her full of drugs. She was pretty happy and refused to share her percocet. Nurses came in every fifteen minutes so getting some rest was impossible. The water broke around 3 am and things got pretty progressively squishy from there. She dilated a centimeter an hour, starting from one centimeter when we arrived and slowly....very slowly....working towards ten centimeters. The contractions were getting stronger and Erika was wearing out the button to increase her dose of pain medicine. I ate at Taco Bell for lunch, so my stomach hurt to, but I didn't get an epideral.

Erika started pushing around 8 pm on Tuesday. She pushed for almost three hours before agreeing with the docs that the best way out for a nine pound baby was not going to be through her hip bones. The c-section took about two hours. I sat by Erika's head in a space by the blood pressure machine trying not to look around the curtain. They brought Linc around the curtain for us to see and he was surprisingly clean. I was expecting somehting green and slippery but he was smooth and...tan? Were it not for the large nostrils, I would have my doubts regarding where this baby came from.

They took us back to the room were we practiced swaddling the baby and changing diapers. They told us we could rest and left us alone....for ten minutes. We then changed rooms at 5 am. We finaly got a room and a chance to rest. And then the family showed up. 654 pictures later, they left and we let the nurse take Linc to the nursery for the night so that we could finaly get some rest. Two hours later, the two sixteen year olds who had just had a baby and were put in the room beside us decided that a free room at the hospital is about the same as a room at the Ramamda Inn. They decided to have a party and we cracked. I never thought I would have to bang on a wall at a hospital to get someone to shut-up.

We decided the next day that we were breaking out. We told everyone in a white coat that we wanted to leave as soon as possible. We ended up staying another day but on Saturday packed our bags first thing that morning and took off as soon as the clipped Lincoln's manhood.

All in all, it was tough on Erika but she was a trooper. All the nurses and docs were really great. I still think we have the wrong kid, and somewhere in that hospital is a pale, red-headed kid, but I like the one we ended up with.